It’s Halloween again. Spooky.
8 years ago Halloween was this:
2 years ago Halloween was this:
Now Halloween is this:
Everything is the same, but exactly different.
***
It was homecoming in Iowa City last weekend (Go Hawks).
I walked down to campus for the College of Education’s tailgate breakfast. These are the kind of events that Departmental Executive Officers should go to.
Here’s a picture I saw of myself on Facebook later that afternoon:
“Look at my bald spot!” I told my wife Katie.
“Look at it,” she said.
“Look at how chubby I look!” I said.
“You don’t look chubby,” Katie said. She always says that.
“What the hell happened to me?” I asked.
“Nothing.”
My mother was, amongst anything, a raging eating disorder. My father struggled with his weight his whole life. On his deathbed, my dad’s dad told him not to get sick and fat like him. Dad spent lots of his life sick and fat. But he also outlived his father by nearly thirty years. Dad is dying right now. A year short of making it to eighty.
Katie told me I should talk with my therapist about my body image issues. I suppose I should. Mostly, here at 46, I want to be okay with what I am. Whether I’m fat, sick, or continuing to resemble Brad Pitt.
Speaking of how I’m looking, here’s a picture of me I took in the mirror this morning:
Just kidding.
***
Solomon is in 7th grade and Samson is in 6th grade. They both still want to trick-or-treat with their parents. I think I should be more grateful than worried. They haven’t abandoned us for their friends yet. They still get what they need out of our tight family unit.
We grew up together away from friends and family in Pennsylvania. And then we moved to Iowa. The four of us have had each other for the last 15 years. Things will keep changing, they will keep getting older, and eventually they won’t go trick-or-treating with us. In fact, it is probably going to be (much) sooner rather than later.
It makes me sad to think about how little the boys used to be. How different all of us looked. I’m sad those times are gone. I’m also looking forward to whatever happens next.
