A friend of mine from graduate school died last week. We are/were the same age. Dad is in hospice. I’ve been thinking about death lately.
Kurt Vonnegut wrote that one of the tough things about getting old was everybody you know starts dying.
I’m not as afraid of death as I used to be. At least I’m not anxious about it. Everybody should have a little fear of death. Dying is scary. Dying is also part of being alive. Things die and then new things take their place. That’s the way of life, transformation, and love. Better to accept and move with death than fear it.
“I guess we all have to face this,” my father told me as he was sitting in his bed, talking with me during our last visit.
Wise words.
***
“Okay folks,” I said to a room of college students the other night. We were standing in a circle. The class was Drama and Education, and we were about to do some drama and education.
“Close your eyes,” I told them, because I always tell students to close their eyes. “What a long day it has been,” I said. “What a long life. And yet here we are, one day closer to the day that we will die.”
The class laughed. Classes usually laugh when I say this before asking students to take a deep breath and enter into our work on drama and education. I laugh with them.
Why do we laugh? Maybe it is funny to acknowledge that we are all dying in a class, because we don’t often talk about the fact that we are dying in class. Maybe there is a hint of fear in the laughter, because we all know that what I’ve just said is true. Maybe it is just ridiculous that a college professor would start a class by telling all of their students they are dying. All of these things are probably a little true. I keep learning that not only can two things be true at the same time, millions of things can be true at the same time. Are true at the same time. Things are multiple, stupid. And by stupid, I mean beautiful.
The class took a breath together, and we spent the rest of the night being alive. Sharing energy through improv. Writing and producing short scenes about teaching and learning. Laughing our asses off with each other. Talking about heavy things, dark things, stupid things, silly things, important things, and unimportant things. Being alive together matters as much as anything else.
I’m grateful to be teaching this class about Drama and Education on Thursday nights.
***
I’m also grateful for the cup of coffee I’m drinking at this exact moment. I’m grateful for the cool breeze through the open window. I’m grateful that Meowalicious is sitting on my desk, watching me type these words. I’m excited to close this tab, put on my running shoes, and run through Hickory Hill Park. I’m looking forward to playing flag football tomorrow morning.
Yes, Kurt Vonnegut, one of the tough things about getting old is that everybody you know starts dying. It is also true that one of the nice things about getting old, at least for me in my worlds, is this warm cup of coffee, this short collection of words, and a Saturday morning that matters as much as anything else.
