ISL (In Sam’s Life)

I have a compulsion to admit.

Let this blog be my confessional. Father forgive me, for I have obeyed compulsions. Or Mother forgive me. Or whoever you are reading this sentence. And this sentence. This one too.

I have a shameful addiction. I am hopelessly hooked on Out of the Park Baseball.

I have purchased nearly every edition of Out of the Park Baseball since 2015. What is Out of the Park Baseball? Why, it is only the finest thing the human race has created. A baseball simulator that would have wowed seven-year old Sam who was obsessed with Frankie “Sweet Music” Viola’s blazing fastball that would not be blazing forty years later. A baseball simulator that wowed thirty-year old Sam as much as it wows forty-five year old Sam.

IRL the Twins haven’t won a title since 1991. IRL is short for in real life. I bet you knew that.

In Sam’s life the Twins have won hundreds of World Series under my management. ISL is short for in Sam’s life. I bet you didn’t know that. Trademark, ISL.

If there is any doubt that I have a compulsive streak, simply check my Out of the Park Baseball save files dating back to 2015.

It’s sick. I confess.

***

Out of the Park Baseball 27 isn’t much different than Out of the Park Baseball 26. I’m not a man of means, and I rarely treat myself. But the other day, I heard a voice deep in the recesses of my mind.

Treat yo’ self!!!

I treated myself to the newest edition of Out of the Park Baseball. I started a season with the Minnesota Twins on April 7th. The Twins were 4-6 and heading towards another mediocre campaign. Could I turn things around? I usually do, over time, but I can’t promise anything in the short-term. Out of the Park Baseball is complex, realistic, and challenging as hell. I am always up for the challenge of rebuilding the organization.

I waived Anthony Banda and Eric Orze. I signed some replacement-level relievers. I put Buxton and Ryan on the trade block, and managed the Twins to a surprising victory over the Tigers. My lineup knocked Tarik Skull out in the third inning. I take full-credit. Luke Keaschall could tell I wasn’t fooling around.

Yes, the president of the United States threatened to wipe out a civilization and here I was assuming the mantle of General Manager for the 2026 Minnesota Twins. I humbly submit that I was making better use of April 7th, 2026 than our commander-in-chief.

***

The world is a scary place. The world has always been a scary place. Baseball has always been a place that, for me, offers some respite. A fairy cave in The Legend of Zelda. A quiet walk in the woods. A moment to turn off my mind and watch a mindless and mindful game that has been happening for over a hundred years.

I learned early on that I was afraid of the baseball. A liner to the forehead seems a terrible way to die. My anxiety kept me from making peace with the inherent danger in fielding a ball that was traveling at the speed of light. I would never play shortstop for the Minnesota Twins. Still, studying statistics, considering roster construction, and paying attention to strategy fascinated me. It still fascinates me.

In another life, I think I’d have made an alright General Manager. I’m not sure it would have mattered for the Twins, given their payroll, but maybe it would have.

IRL I’m a humble educator, trying to take good and peaceful steps in a scary and violent world. Trying to teach others to do the same.

ISL I’m a legendary general manger, shrewdly trading veterans for prospects, managing a limited payroll, and making the playoffs more often than not.

There are far worse things to do with our time in our many scary worlds.