I got home from the dentist on Thursday. Friday was agonizing. Saturday was worse. I developed a fever at 9:00 on Saturday night.
“Do you think my tooth is infected?” I asked my wife Katie.
She did.
“Do you think I should go to the emergency room?” I asked her. Urgent care was closed.
She did.
I bobbed and weaved through throngs of drunken college students, and made my way to registration.
“What brings you in?”
“A tooth bruise?” I offered sheepishly.
Three hours later, I’d gone through a CT scan, had bloodwork drawn, and experienced one of the more invasive versions of a Covid-19 test. Midnight turned into one in the morning, and the doctor finally made his way to my room. Well, my corner of the ER disguised by a curtain.
“I think you need a root canal,” the doctor said. He prescribed me antibiotics, told me to take Ibuprofen, and sent me home.
I remain in agony as I type this sentence. I look forward to my next dose of Ibuprofen.
While I do think Tooth Bruise! makes a better punk song, I suppose we can work with Root Canal!
***
The pain I’m currently experiencing inspired me to write these lyrics to a punk song:
Thought I had a bruise
There’s always more to lose
Root canal!
Things were pretty bad,
My tooth was really mad,
Root canal!
Searing throbbing pain
Need some novocaine
Root canal!
Infection!
Infection!
Infection!
Root canal!
-Root Canal, S. Tanner, 2026 (unrecorded)
And so on.
***
The endodontist, a term that nobody knows, got me in on Monday. He filled me with all sorts of canes. He drilled and drilled. Sparks flew from my mouth. An hour came and went. Then another.
“We finally got it,” he said.
Good.
I go back in a week so he can finish the job.
Kind reader, if you are still feeling a little low, just know that it could always be worse. A tooth bruise can always turn into a root canal. So be grateful if your tooth isn’t throbbing, and say a little prayer for my aching mouth.
And please enjoy the melody that you made in your own head as you read the lyrics to my punk song, Root Canal!
Samuel Jaye Tanner 