Walking into a Wet Washcloth

“It’s like walking into a wet washcloth.”

This was my wife Katie’s reply when I asked her how hot it was outside.

Iowa City in July of 2025. Humidity and corn sweat. It is like living in a wet washcloth.

***

Playing old man basketball has become a crucial part of my weekly routine. I won’t pretend I’m any good. But I’m no liability either. I can sometimes hit a mid-range shot. I can still get by most defenders. I’m still working on my layup. My defense has always been as good as it can be for a 5-footer. And I still hustle as much as this body lets me hustle.

We play in the Field House. There are two rec centers on campus at the University of Iowa. The Field House is the older one. The Field House does not have air conditioning. Last week, real feel in the Field House was 105 degrees Fahrenheit. And by 105 I mean 2,010 degrees Fahrenheit. I was sweating through my shirt before the game started. My shirt was soaked through by the time the game ended. I stopped in my building for a quick meeting with a staff person. I asked the person at the front desk if we had any Iowa swag. She handed me a XXXL t-shirt. I was sweating through that shirt by the end of my meeting.

Iowa City. It’s like living in a wet washcloth.

***

My air conditioning bill in July will be the GDP for a developing nation. The windows are fogged over. Our basement, the place where my computer is and where I’m currently writing about living in wet wash cloths, is an icebox. Real feel -105. Very refreshing.

I was born and raised in Minnesota. A frozen tundra. I’m more comfortable when it is -105 than I am when it is +105. And of course, here I’m using hyperbole. Please don’t mistake hyperbole for fact. I fear many in the United States and across the world mistake hyperbole for fact these days. Read a tweet without understanding hyperbole and suddenly the whole world is up in arms. Up in flames. Global warming. Social warming. Sometimes I worry we are living in a wet washcloth.

The best thing to do, when one finds oneself in a wet washcloth, is to put the air conditioner’s pedal to the metal, and hide out in the basement. Wait for the washcloth to dry out.