Graduation Day!

December 19th, 2024 is a day that will live in infamy. And by live in infamy, I mean soon be forgotten.

The College of Education held its undergraduate graduation on Thursday afternoon. I attended like I’ve attended every undergraduate graduation since arriving at the University of Iowa in the fall of 2022. That’s 5 graduations. But who is counting? I read the names of the English Education graduates. One time I gave a faculty speech. Graduation is a nice moment of reflection at the end of the semester.

The ceremony on December 19th, 2024 was unlike other ceremonies, in part, because of Dr. Samuel Jaye Tanner, PhD.

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Any dutiful reader of this blog will know I’ve had quite a semester. As it comes to an end, I’m feeling fine. Mostly fine. I’m also feeling tired. Thus, the screenshot captured from Youtube and placed at the top of this blog. I got a text from a colleague after the ceremony. He had been watching the livestream and let me know I was his favorite part of graduation.

I immediately wondered what I’d screwed up. I figured he meant my misreading of the script.

There is a carefully curated script faculty read from before announcing the names of graduates. My lines went something like this: “My name is Professor Samuel Tanner and I’m now going to read the names for the graduates in English Education from our Teacher Education Program.” Now, I’ve read these lines many times before. Four, to be precise, but who is counting? I was going to show off by not taking my script with me to the podium. I got to the microphone and froze. And then I said this:

“My name is Sam Tanner and I’m going to talk with the English Ed folks now.”

Talk with the English Ed folks now. What could that embarrassing collection of words possibly mean in the context of a graduation ceremony? The dean and the representative board of regents stared at me as I fumbled my lines. I read the names of the students and returned to my seat to sit on stage in shame.

Unfortunately, my misreading of the script wasn’t what my colleague was referring to. Apparently, the livestream on YouTube caught me in a hellacious yawn. Sadly, the camera found me in the background as a poor undergraduate crossed the stage during one of the most important moments of her life. These images are available on YouTube, so I think it is okay to invite you in on this atrocity.

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The moment starts with Sam holding his face as though he were on the verge of dying as the poor student accepts her diploma:

The moment continues as Sam lets loose all the exhaustion in his body and soul:

Let is rip, Sam, let it rip:

And finally, the calm after the storm:

Is there a better series of images to capture my semester? Likely not.

The faculty speaker gave a nice speech about presence. After sharing that she remembered little about her graduation, she challenged the audience to remain present during the ceremony. I tried my best, but sometimes presence requires an energy that just isn’t there. You see, I agreed to play in a pickup basketball game earlier that afternoon. My first full court action in almost 10 years. My shot was ugly, but I still managed to get up and down the court. Still, by 4:00, by body was done for the day. I suspect this is how President Biden feels after lunch.

Anyway, I just wanted to bring you in, kind reader, on my shameful moment on stage at graduation.