I almost posted a pretty dark blog this week. Like, really dark. Like, a bear my darkest soul, howl at the darkest moon, cry for a mother’s help, scream and scream some more blog.
I decided, for the good of the human race, to delete such a blog. This little writing venue is not the place for the darkest night of the soul. It is, instead, a playful little space where I toss words and thoughts onto the page without much care. Have been doing it for a long time.
I’ll admit that I’m starting to reconsider lots of the things I’ve been doing for a long time. Some things will have to go as I get older. This blog may be one of them. But, for now, after deleting a doozy of a blog, I’m going to tell you a little bit about where I taught classes last week.
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The picture above is of the Old Capitol Building of the fine state of Iowa. Now, this building is the heart of the University of Iowa’s campus. It is a beautiful old building with a golden dome. It looks over downtown Iowa City on one side and the Iowa River on the other.
There is a lawn that spills over the hill towards the river. This is where, during the 4th of July, the good citizens of Iowa City watch fireworks. They spread blankets over the lawn, taking up place on the hill to watch the sky. We’ve taken the boys to fireworks two years in a row now. We never did that in Pennsylvania. Fireworks always happen during Iowa City’s Jazz fest which is located on the other side of the Old Capitol Building.
All of this is to say that the lawns around the capitol building are a very pleasant place on campus. That is why, last week, I took both of my classes outside and met in the grass. Don’t worry, I still created lots of meaningful learning experiences with the students. But I did so outside. Because being inside makes me anxious right now. It won’t make me anxious always, but, as I said at the outset, it’s been something of a month.
Students scattered across the lawn. Writing, talking, and reading. I rested against my backpack, reading over our course readings, checking my laptop, and writing in my journal. Students who were not my students made there way to and from other classes. The sun set slowly over the Iowa River. It was, in a word, gorgeous.
I teach on Wednesday and Thursday night this semester. I’m also managing what feels like an overwhelming amount of other responsibilities. I’m realizing now that asking for help, delegating, and coming up with a better relationship with my job is necessary for my well-being. So I’m trying to do that now. Part of taking care of myself was taking my classes out for a beautiful evening near the Old Capitol Building.
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Okay, so this isn’t the lightest blog I’ve ever written but, trust me, it is better than the fever dream I was about to share.
I’m okay and I’m going to be okay. There are lots of things on my plate right now and I’m sure that there are lots of things on your plate too. Things can get hard. Luckily, human beings are strong and can handle hard things. I’m handling things right now and, in so doing, sitting on lawns with students in Iowa City experiencing beautiful sunsets, meaningful teaching and learning, and peaceful evenings.
Samuel Jaye Tanner 