You Humbled Me, Man

“You humbled me, man,” the voice said on the other side of my Xbox Series X. “I needed that.”

It was the fourth quarter. My Minnesota Vikings held a 20-7 lead over MasterFresh0853252’s San Francisco 49ers. My defense continued to overwhelm MasterFresh0853252’s ill-advised 4th down attempts.

Kirk Cousins was efficient. Alexander Mattison was competent. Our lead had more to do with my veteran savvy than outrageous player ratings. Take the field goals. Be willing to punt. Take calculated risks. I know what I’m doing.

I head my opponent take another sip from his drink. A woman (his girlfriend? his wife?) had brought him a drink near the beginning of our game that he described as “strong as hell.” Not stronger than Danielle Hunter roaming the secondary, I’ll tell you that much.

***

Did you know that I was one of the top ranked players in Madden ’22 last year? And there I’ve shared one of the most embarrassing brags I can think to share.

Look, I can’t help it. I’ve been playing Madden football since the original was released on Super Nintendo in 1991. That’s a long, long time. I get more into some versions than others. After our move to Iowa last year, what with the stress of a new gig, I played quite a bit of Madden ’22. To calm down. Did it calm me down? I don’t know. I do know that I won many, many online head-to-head games.

I bought Madden ’23 mostly for Samson. He got into football last year. Loved watching the 13-4 Vikings. I’m worried this season will bring him back to the harsh reality that is cheering for the purple and gold. But we’ll see. I haven’t played that much Madden ’23 yet. But I played a little. And that’s how I humbled MasterFresh0853252.

No, I don’t have a headset. So I never have a microphone on. I don’t talk to my opponents. Many of these youngsters I play do have their microphones on. In fact, I encountered two the other day when I humbled MasterFresh0853252.

My first opponent (I beat them too) got into a passive aggressive fight with his girlfriend. He had her on speaker phone and refused to tell her who he was talking to before he called her, other than it was “his people.” My next opponent was MasterFresh0853252. Samson wandered by during my second game. He head MasterFresh0853252 say the “F-word” more times than I care to admit. And I had to explain to Samson why MasterFresh0853252 kept calling me the “N-word.”

If I’m being honest, I really enjoyed MasterFresh0853252. Seemed friendly. And even though I thought my first opponent was being a jerk to his girlfriend, I liked them too.

***

Katie was in the room when MasterFresh0853252 told me I humbled him. She burst out laughing.

“Look, MasterFresh0853252,” I’d have said if I had a gaming headset, “I’ve been playing Madden since before you were born, young man. No shame in losing to an old head.”

One of my favorite things I did as a teacher, many thousands of years ago, was challenge classes to a game of Madden. They presented a champion to play a game against me. We projected the game on the screen with the overhead projector. The class would get extra credit if they won. I came up with some silly thing they’d give me if they lost. Then we played. It was raucous. And of course, many of my colleagues and administrators thought I was a heretic. Was I a monster? I don’t think so, friend. I was just a humble educator, trying to build classroom vitality with young people so as to open their hearts, minds, and souls to the intellectual, emotional, and social transformation I was trying to cultivate in my classrooms. Talk about a long sentence. Talk about a difficult thing to sell to folks who have prescriptive views of what should happen in school and society.

Just know, friend, that if you encounter me online in Madden ’23, it likely won’t go well for you. But I play with honor. I won’t run up the score. I’ll accept my losses. I’ve learned, as I’m sure Kirk Cousins learned on opening weekend, that you cannot win them all, but you can move onto the next game.